Back When Life Was A Bottomless Cask Of Chardonnay

Sydney Morning Herald

Thursday May 24, 2007

Jacqueline Lunn

Never, in my wildest dreams, did I think I would look at a three-door, electric-blue Barina and be jealous. But lately, when I sit in traffic I can't help but follow young women glowing with perfect lip gloss and possibility, running across the street - I swear in slow motion - before jumping into their tiny fuel-efficient cars and driving off.

Where are they going? Do they live in a cute one-bedroom apartment and tonight, when they get home, will it be exactly as they left it? What if they don't come home? They don't have to tell a soul. Oh, I like the way they have changed the belt on that shirt-dress.

Then thwack, someone in the back of the car throws the tiny shoe I've been looking for all week into the back of my head and I'm back to reality.

Like a producer on a reality TV show, I seem to be spending too much time looking at women in their early 20s. Women living in that sweet pocket of adulthood before life gets too serious.

A time where you drink in the afternoon with friends, do your weekly grocery shop at a petrol station and use a microwave daily, but never open an oven. A time of maximum freedom and minimum responsibility.

Maybe I am looking at life through rose-coloured oversized sunglasses, but I reckon the early 20s are the golden years.

This yearning and jealousy over the past is made doubly worse by the fact that every time I see one of these creatures I am reminded that I am not one any more.

"I may be listening to Justin Timberlake and wearing ankle boots and leggings," says a friend, "but then I see a car load of girls giggling and I become very self-conscious and realise I am 35."

"I keep thinking I'm 24," another friend admits when I ask if her internal age bore any resemblance to the one on her driver's licence. "And when I see someone who is 37 in the paper or on the news, I think gawd, she's my age, am I really that old?"

I am stuck at 22. That was a good year. Two?minute noodles for dinner, a rack for my clothes and a bottomless cask of chardonnay in the fridge.

It's only when I hear myself talking to friends about stain removal, or attempt a forward roll in my living room, or ask the shop assistant at General Pants which jean has the longest rise, because I don't want people to see my bottom when I bend over, that I take a sharp intake of breath and realise I am married with three kids, a mortgage and a cubbyhouse in the backyard.

Yes, yes, growing up, coping with a complex world and maturing is terrific. It makes you a better person. You develop a greater understanding of humanity and reality; your world becomes richer and so, too, do plastic surgeons.

But having a Barina, friends who are available to come along for the ride any time, and nothing but the road between you and a quick stop for Lean Cuisine for dinner, I can't help but think, that's living.

© 2007 Sydney Morning Herald

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